Hello? Is this the right place for an argument?
I get a bill for my BT line which was only used for dial-up and realise now is a perfect moment to cancel it what with having the boradband etc installed. I'm even home during their customer support hours (8am-8pm).
I call their number.
I press 1 because I am not calling from the BT line.
I type in the number of the line I am calling about.
I press 4 for more options.
I press 4 again because I would like to cancel my account.
I am, it tells me, being transferred to a customer advisor who will deal with my request.
I go on hold.
I am put through to 'Maisie'.
I give Maisie my account number.
I confirm my name.
I confirm my address.
Maisie: How can I help you, Ms Holiday?
Me: Halliday. I'd like to cancel my account.
Maisie: We can do that for you. Why are you cancelling?
Me: I no longer use the line.
Maisie: May I ask why you no longer use the line.
Me: Because I don't.
Maisie: Are you using your mobile?
Me: I don't need to tell you that. I just want to cancel my line.
Maisie: I'll transfer you to customer advisor.
Me: I thought I had been transferred to a customer advisor.
Back on hold.
I am put through to another customer advisor whose name I have promptly forgotten.
CA2: How can I help you Ms Halliday?
Me: I want to cancel my account.
CA2 tells me the cancellation date etc.
CA2: May I ask why you are cancelling the account?
Me: I don't use it anymore.
CA2: Were you unhappy with the service?
Me: Not until it took me 14 minutes, punching through an automated system and two advisors to cancel my account, no. I just don't use the line any more.
CA2: And why is that?
Me: Because I don't and I don't have to tell you why not.
CA2: We're just following the procedure---
Me: I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU. JUST CANCEL THE GORRAM ACCOUNT!
I hang up.
I know they're doing an unhappy job, and I know Maisie was just following a script, but the script should allow for people declining to provide non-essential information. It is none of BT's business why I am cancelling the line: their job is to provide me with a service, and to cease to provide it if a) I don't pay them for it or b) I tell them to stop doing it. What other arrangements I have is nothing to do with them.