- Grab the book nearest you. Turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
Discounting my working notebooks:
"of the professors. Once introduced to the ladies of their families, his"If you want to count my working notebook:
Right at Last, Elizabeth Gaskell in Victorian Love Stories, ed. Kate Flint
on strict astrological principles
- Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Air. If I lean over a bit, the muslin curtain of the attic window.
- What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Not counting films (see question 15)...Newsnight on Thursday night.
- WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
- Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
- With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the dusk birdsong. muted traffic.
- When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
half an hour ago. moving some old fence posts to the back of the garden, siting a solar-powered lantern partway down the path, pulling up some unwanted apple tree saplings and beginning the annual war on bindweed.
- Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
- What are you wearing?
black combats (my writing trousers - most writers have a hat but I have trousers). An old purple and red striped long-sleeve top I found lying on the ground at Glastonbury festival 1994.
- Did you dream last night?
Yes. There were books.
- When did you last laugh?
finding that HG Wells quote and wishing I could steal it.
- What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Oh gods. I wish I was answering this on my laptop downstairs: there's not that much on those walls. OK:
- in front of me (west wall): photo of two friends in SoCal; photo of myself and Current Ex on Dartmoor; Pratchett publicity poster for Carpe Jugulum; cover of magazine reading "Smile: You'll be caught on camera 14 times today"; Buffy postcard; aboriginal art postcard; hand-written letter from Terry Gilliam; signed still from Amber Benson's Chance movie; photo of "Morrison of Peking"'s grave; old page torn from a Dark Horse Tank Girl comic reading "the preposterous bollox of the situation"; photo of friend Gren at Ashton Court festival circa 1997; hand-painted scroll of a dragon and phoenix; bull-fighting poster with 'Fitz Kreiner' block-printed on it.
- north and east walls bare except for an old oak-framed mirror
- south wall (window to my left): Delicatessen print; Brazil still; poster for an exhibit at the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford; postcard of a glass of milk (I have no idea why); badges from various conventions; a photo of some rats on sticks; a flyer for Catatonia's 'Mulder and Scully' single; a drawing of moosifer jones by the Arty Ex; a cover torn from The Modern Review which demands we "look at the lovely kitten!" (from an article about sentimentality); a cover ripped from the electronic times showing Armstrong on the moon, one arm raised towards his visor and the strapline of "I can see your house from here" (this is under the window, obviously); a bunch of postcards; a b&w photo of my mother; a string of orange paper lanterns; a Chinese lovers' wish ball.
Don't dare ask what's on the desk...
- Seen anything weird lately?
Well, OK, let's discount seeing birds bathing in the pond as that's not weird, just new to me (I suspect moosifer was the Norman Bates of the bird world, attacking the things as they bathed). Let's likewise discount photos in the Fortean Times or I'll be here all night. Someone is advertising their band by sticking up stuff in the underpass. That in itself is not weird. How they are doing it, however, is to take photographs of a hand-scrawled poster stuck to a wall and then sticking up a glossy photo on the actual wall of the underpass.
- What do you think of this quiz?
Can I go home now?
- What is the last film you saw?
At home, An Ideal Husband. Rupert Everett and Oscar Wilde - I can't resist.
At the cinema, er...Big Fish. A fiver thrown away.
- If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
I'd buy off my mortgage. Then an apartmento in a small fishing village on my secret volcanic island base. After that...I dunno...I'm not materially ambitious, really.
- Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have a shoe obsession but don't find feet remotely erotic. Oh! That's what I'd spend my multi-millions on! Shoes! And boots. And silly little strips of leather which cost a fortune and are allegedly sandals.
- If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
does removing capitalism and/or social inequality count as political? Cure cancer and AIDs without involving animal experimentation.
- Do you like to dance?
- George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Nutcase. Not to say that the problems of fundementalism don't need resolving. But I'd put American fundementalism in with the problem and I wouldn't resolve it by blowing things up.
- Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
- Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
- Would you ever consider living abroad?
Not permenantly. I could cope with a month away from Britain in say, January, every year but I actually like it here.