Got back at 1am this morning from a day job trip to Dublin. And found a pigeon sitting on the counter in the kitchen. So last night wasn't spent doing some promised rewrites but getting the damn creature out the house and cleaning up after it. A few months ago, the RSPCA told me to lure a bird out with a bright light outside. That sort of works, but you have to get it interested in moving. In the end, I remembered my Charlemagne. Or, more acurately, I remembered Sean Connery as Henry Jones Senior remembering his Charlemagne in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade and used the Chinese painted umbrella in the lounge to wake up the evil bird.

So now I'm trying to do the rewrites and watch the South Bank Show (Melvyn Bragg on soap opera - this has got to be good). And getting irritated by adverts. Bad attempts to tell men that a disposable razor is the best they can get I can cope with. But not ones with a bastardised musak version of the Violent Femmes in the background as some lipglossed moronic blonde walks over tables to get to the well-shaved perfectly tousled bloke in an amber room bar. Please.