"That has to be the worst pirate I ever saw."
is not quite what Mark Kermode said to provoke Sam's ire, but it's what it amounts to. Aside from the fact I can't think of a harder decision to make than chosing between Johnny Depp's gorgeous insanity in Pirates of the Caribbean and Bill Murray's astonishingly dry turn in Lost In Translation as "Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, I just don't agree that the performance "had absolutely no merit". Phooey to the old curmudgeon.
Watching the Late Review last night (hurrah! Paul Morley spitting venom on pop soul!), the review of Big Fish got me all sentimental for Tim Burton and I decided to watch my old off-air tape of Edward Scissorhands. And discovered that, some time between my recording it and my watching it, the final ten minutes had been taped over with an Alan Partridge Christmas. I suspect the Beloved Ex of sabotage. I also noticed that quite a lot of the wonderful hand gesturing Depp does as Captain Jack Sparrow is not dissimilar to Edward's when in twitching mode.